Diary of a twenty-something-year-old

Little pearls of wisdom

A recent walk through Centennial Park triggered a nostalgic spiral when my Spotify shuffle randomly landed on a song from my year 12 playlist (Ocean Drive by Duke Dumont - tune).

I was immediately transported back to my 18-year-old self. When I was living in Singapore and about to graduate, filled with angst and obsessed with my friends and boys. When every Friday night felt like a world of opportunity and Sunday afternoons were flat and filled with dread for school the next morning. It has been seven years since then which simultaneously feels like a lifetime ago but also no time at all.

My high school best friends, Verity and Jess.

It is crazy to think about the journey you go on after leaving school, I feel like a completely different person to the one I was at 18 years old. My sister is in year 12 and about to embark on that same journey. I have sat with her as she decides which university she wants to go to, carefully studying which courses she can choose. She is stressed about exams and studying and all the other anxieties that come with being a late teen. I have tried to quash her worries with the typical, “It will be fine, no one cares about your ATAR” or “Boys are just immature at that age”. But truthfully when I look at her all I want to do is shake her and say “You don’t know how good life is about to get for you.”

Me with my sister, Sybella.

The expedition from teenager to adulthood - school to university to full-time work - is a wild ride. It is learning to navigate the world on your own. Failed subjects, getting rejected from jobs, getting accepted to jobs, travelling, drinking too much, making amazing friends, friendship break-ups, dealing with stupid boys, heartbreak, falling in love.

Cassie, Maddy and I have seen each other through the better part of our 20s.

I just turned 25 and am by no means saying I know everything there is to know about life but I finally feel like I am coming to terms with growing up, ready to embrace the next phase of my life - adulthood. So, in the spirit of maturing, I asked my closest friends to (anonymously) share what they have learnt along the way - the advice they wish they had, in terms of; relationships, career and general life.

The most comforting thing about this journey is knowing you are not alone.

In relationships

“Never be too proud to say sorry. The people you love will resent you if you can never admit to being in the wrong.”

“Choose solitude over toxicity.”

“I love the quote, ‘Good or bad people usually reveal who they are right from the start.’ How someone acts when you first start seeing each other is a good indication of how they will keep acting.”

“Do not date boys with two first names.”

“For most people, partners will come and go. Having a loving relationship with yourself and your friends is the most important thing at this age.”

“Breakups don’t get easier but seem to follow a similar pattern in healing. Time is the only constant in feeling better. Whether you are 16 and heartbroken, listening to a Bon Iver playlist or a late 20-something, you will likely be doing the same thing. Time along with the other T’s - tequila and talking to friends - heals all.”

“When dating someone new, worry less about whether they like you, and more about whether you actually like them. This ensures you are authentic to yourself and makes it harder to get swept up in a situation with someone who isn’t right for you.”

“If they wanted to, they would.”

In career

“Try not to put a deadline on your success. I spent too many years feeling like I had to achieve everything by 30. Take your time, explore and sit with the discomfort. It will work out.”

“Don't fall into the trap of following what everyone else is doing. You should spend most of your time doing something you love that also brings genuine fulfilment, so if work doesn't fit into that category it may be time to consider.”

“Be proactive. Show interest and ask questions. There’s nothing wrong with being curious. Lean on those willing to help you and don’t be afraid to make a change when it feels right.”

“The bravest thing you can do is step off the pre-ordained career path if it’s making you miserable, take a break and change tact. You’ll be happier and more fulfilled for it.”

“Have an open mind. It might seem like everyone has their dream job which might prompt you to think ‘wtf am I doing?’ but at the end of the day work is work and there are pros and cons to every career. I don’t let my job define me.”

“Never send a work email when you are angry. You will regret it. Sleep on it and then respond, you will be able to see things much more clearly then.”

“It’s okay not to know what you want to do. Your current job is not forever.”

In life

“Everything happens for a reason. This might sound woo-woo but sometimes you have to trust the process.”

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

“Do your own thing, treat others how you want to be treated and be weird! It is fun reaching your mid-20s and realising that you can do what you want without the burden of others’ opinions.”

“A sunrise or sunset swim is one of the best remedies out there.”

“I try to live my life in such a way that both my five-year-old and eighty-five-year-old self would be proud. This means making both small and big decisions from a place of self-knowledge and kindness rather than fear.”

“Tell your parents you love them, you don’t know how long they will be around.”

“Don’t map out every detail of your life. Let your dreams drive your decisions and stay flexible to dance around the unexpected plot twists of your 20s.”

“If all else fails, listen to the Sunscreen Song by Baz Lurhmann.”